Jennifer Westfeldt and her boyfriend, the actor Jon Hamm, have separated after 18 years.
She’s now 45 so her baby-making years are over.
I bring that up because I read an interview where she said she wanted children but Jon didn’t.
She stayed with him anyway and now…Ooops.
Sure, she might be happy enough. An 18 year relationship is a success story, right?
But not if you’ve compromised on a major story arc.
Then it’s 18 years you can’t get back.
Also, she’s 45 so she’s now a bona fide spinster. Welcome to the club Jen. This bit is for you…
Read my open letter to Spin-sister Charlize (she’s been in and out since I wrote this but it still stands).
I just hope that the 18 years were worth it. That despite his enormous dick he wasn’t an enormous dick to you.
And that you can look back fondly on those almost two decades with some kind of contentment and peace.
If not, good luck making better choices. It’s my new mantra to all women, everywhere.
MAKE. BETTER. CHOICES.
This is true not just of men but of bagels, holiday destinations and hairdressers.
Ironically, all of the above will help you through this rough patch.
Not every woman “does a Demi” (not the bump this time) and half starves from sadness.
Some women turn to food for comfort.
That’s what I did.
And because of that my friend’s words stung.
Women can be cruel – and none more so than with a comment like that.
Are we only supposed to prove our grief by shrinking?
Is it some kind of warped competition?
Unsurprisingly, I didn’t speak to my galpal for a while after that, and it changed our friendship in the long term.
I found it insulting that my emotional devastation was being measured in pounds and kilos.
I’ve since lost the post break-up weight, and look better than I have in years.
Still not skinny though.
I like taking up space in this world.