Cheap shots at Madonna on her 57th birthday

Here we go again.

The usual ageist/sexist comments as Madonna turns another year older (cos it’s fun right, being snarky about what a dried up bitch she is, and posting photos of her looking older than she was 30 years ago).

Cheap shots. Worse. Boring, cheap shots.

Gary Oldman (56), Prince (57), James Spader (54), Kevin Costner (59) Ice T (57),  Stanley Tucci (53), George Clooney (53) and Steve Carell (53),who shares Madonna’s exact birth date on August 16th.

I’m looking but I can’t find anywhere near the vitriol that Madonna seems to inspire, directed at any of these men, who are also all in their fifties. You’re telling me that James Spader looks as good as he did 30 years ago? That Stanley Tucci looks ONLY 53? That Clooney is still as sexy as he was in Out of Sight?

Here’s a couple of facts (a good place to start). Madonna was a nobody from Bay City, Michigan, and through sheer hard work, creativity, talent and good luck has been famous for 30 years, and is worth $520m. She’s sold more records than any woman in history.

Everything she has done in 30 years, you can see in every female pop performer today. The art works that decorate Lady Gaga, Katy Perry’s cartoon outfits, the overt sexuality of Nicki Minaj/Miley/Rihanna, the choreography of Beyonce, the clarion calls of sisterhood from Taylor Swift and whatever it is that Miley Cyrus is doing these days.

I don’t know her as a person. I have never worked with her, for her or been in the same room as her (Wembley Stadium doesn’t count) but I know this, whatever you think of her music or her art, Madonna’s work ethic is impressive. She’s driven and determined. If she was a male CEO of an international corporation we’d all be falling at her feet in awe. But she’s a woman. So we call her a dried up old bitch instead.

She’s still on good terms with the fathers of her children. She recently joined Guy Ritchie to sing Happy Birthday to Rocco who turned 15 last week. She is still friends with Lourdes’ dad, Carlos Leon and by all accounts Lourdes appears to be a level-headed teenager who is studying at college. So a good mum.

Not enough.

Madonna’s biggest crime is that she still believes in her sexuality. And apparently, even in 2015, women over a certain age are NOT ALLOWED TO DO THIS.

What is that certain age? 25? 35? 40?

When does a woman stop being attractive?

And if Madonna singing pop songs or projecting a sexual image offends you, look away and switch off.

I’m not worshipping at her altar. The gold teeth are hideous, Tidal is ridiculous and that on-stage snog with Aubrey Graham (sorry, Drake) was something I’ll never unsee. Maybe she is in denial about her age? I wouldn’t blame her living under that microscope but she continues to push boundaries and she’s been doing that since Like a Virgin. Deal with it.

It’s a pity that a woman who is so successful is not allowed to age. I’m not going to use the word ‘gracefully’ because that means nothing now in a world where men are on the whole neither particularly gentlemanly, respectful or gracious.

If anything, attitudes towards women have got worse. You only need to look at the conversation around Caitlyn Jenner to see that. It’s amazing how the dialogue changed so dramatically overnight. An Olympic athlete is now little more than a fuckable or non-fuckable clothes horse – but that’s another blog.

And I can hear your arguments already. Madonna sells sexuality. Pop music is for young people. She’s not relevant.

Yeah, well neither are you probably. Madonna will go on being Madonna until the day she drops. Although she’s pretty good at getting back up again, so expect a long wait.

Until then, 58, 59 and then – HORROR OF HORRORS – Madonna at 60!

Doesn’t it make you feel old? Yes? Well maybe she’s the person who can give everyone who is ageing (that’s the entire human race, then) the hope that just because you were born before the internet, doesn’t mean you’re already dead. Or worse, unattractive. Or worse worse, sexless.

So Happy 57th Birthday Madonna. Never change.

You may not be “ever-youthful” but you are true to yourself, and not many people can say that about themselves after 57 years.

Spinny out.

Photo credit: Hollywood Reporter