The Essential Spinny KitPosted: April 29, 2013
So here’s a list of the things you’ll find in my purse. And when I say purse, I mean a giant handbag you could house a family of meerkats in.
1. A copy of “The Rules”, with “Fuck you” scrawled on the cover with a Sharpie.
3. A miniature bottle of whiskey stolen from a hotel room.
4. A copy of “Eat, Pray, Love”, with the title crossed out and replaced with the words “Cry, Eat, Get Fat Bitch”.
5. Enough concealer to hide the debt of an African nation.
6. Fake ID. “Of course I was born in 1982…I’ve spent a lot of time in the sun.”
7. A secret chocolate bar.
8. A copy of “Pride & Prejudice” with the words, “This is not based on a real story” written across it.
9. A page torn from O Mag on ’10 Steps to a More Successful/Happier/Healthier You.”
10. An accessory bought on a whim that would only look good on a teenager in a pop band.
11. Some kind of mysterious drug bought from a man in a car park.
12. At least five lip glosses that claim to plump and pout.
13. Heel arch insoles.
14. Thumb-drive with script/novel/play on it ready to hand out to interested parties.
15. iPhone. Naturally.
16. Nipple spray. I don’t know what this is but if it existed I’m sure I’d buy it.
What have I missed?