The Rise of the Gashtag: How Twitter ruined my relationshipPosted: January 21, 2012 | |
This was her ‘ultimate statement’ (according to a particular newspaper), but around 14 months ago I split up with my ex – an avid user of social media – and can hand on heart say that Twitter played its part in our break-up. And then had to be ‘managed’ afterwards.
We’d been together two years but were still living apart. I loved him, he said he loved me, and so it was only natural that we took the next proverbial step. Wasn’t it?
I drove to his apartment one day, and said as firmly as I could, “It’s been two years, I want us to move in together.”
He said, “I don’t want to.”
I said, “It’s over then.”
He said, “Just like that?”
And I, with all my 25 years of dating experience standing firmly behind me like Ms Perry’s dependable backing singers, declared boldly, “There’s no compromise here.”
Truth be told, I was expecting his answer. I’d noticed that my ex had been flirting with three particular ‘gashtags’ as I shall call them, on Twitter (meanly, but come on, it’s rather good isn’t it), and that his flirting had been getting more intense.
I went home, and immediately unfollowed him in almost every way I could.
It’s not easy pulling the trigger on the social media gun #lovebullet but it’s very necessary. If you don’t, you then spend the next year (as a friend of mine did) fuming over every one of their tweets to members of the opposite sex, and agonising over the apparent ‘fun’ they’re having.
Most of that, as we all know deep down is for show, but that doesn’t make it any easier.
He was starting to ignore my phone calls or texts. Later, he would tell me that he’d been busy or on a deadline, yet somehow had found the time to be @ing some blonde with big tits, or hot nerdette in thick glasses.
I thought it was disrespectful.
It also made me incredibly angry, and then I’d hate myself for having such a teenage reaction.
Those tweets eroded our relationships. We were done.
(In retrospect, I hope he fucked at least one of them. I mean, what would have been the point otherwise? He lost a good women in 140 characters, let’s hope he got something out of it. I haven’t asked – not that brave/don’t care.)
Initially, I would check every other day or so to see what he was up to, until I weaned myself off him completely. I did it quickly. I wasn’t about to give up my social media for him. He’d already taken enough. *stares at camera, crosses arms, purses lips*
But it wasn’t until the end of last year, and a full 12 months after our break up, that I started following him again. I’m now way past caring about anything he tweets or who he tweets it at.
He is, as they say rather unimaginatively, no longer trending in my life.
I’d be wary of any new partner who spent so much time on Twitter. When questioned, my ex would bleat, ‘But I only tweet them, I spend my time with you,’ as if I should be somehow honoured to be in his presence. It was nonsense – you don’t need to be physically in the same room with someone to form a relationship.
So I told him to get lost, and you know what, that was my #ultimatestatement