Old, Older, Oldest: Mum’s top five quotes

As I’m currently staying with my mum, the infamous Babs, my ears are getting bashed on a daily basis. I hate to use the phrase ‘broken record’ as that in itself is like a broken record but blimey, she doesn’t half go on. I wonder if I’ll be this tedious by the time I’m in my mid-seventies.

I just hope that my non-existent daughter is grateful that I didn’t have her and that she doesn’t have to listen to stuff like this (always a silver lining eh?).

1. “Are you cold? I’m cold.” (When it’s 70 degrees outside)

2. “I hate Penn & Teller” (Am trying to get to the bottom of this intense dislike)

3. “Cats used to be put outside at night. It’s better for them.” (Is it?)

4. “I never realised how good I had it.” (There’s a lesson there for all of us)

5. “There’s never anything on.” (The telly, while watching it non-stop for eight hours).

There’s more but I wanted to spare you the never-ending conversation about the car, her bad haircut and the fact that you can never get a parking space.

Spinny out.

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