Dear younger me, what you should know…

As I sit in the Servisair Lounge at Gatwick South Terminal on New Year’s Eve, cursing my delayed flight, it strikes me that I’m not so clever. (Why else would I have ordered that lousy sandwich?)

In fact, sometimes, I wish I could go back and tell my younger self a few things. A handful of one-liners or pithy pars that might well have changed my life. I’m pretty sure younger me would have told older me to get stuffed but if she’d allow me to talk, this is what I’d tell Young Spinny in Waiting…

1. Don’t presume you will always have enough money. You won’t. Keep an eye on every aspect of your finances. Maybe take a course in accounting or business studies. Yeah yeah, I know you’ve always been creative but dear, you will be well and truly f**ked if you don’t wise up about how it all works. Save. Don’t max out your credit cards, and find a good accountant (by that I mean one who is reliable but also slightly dodgy).

2. When that rich older guy asks you out when you’re 24 and you say no because he’s too old, go on the date. Then marry him. Don’t sign a pre-nup and cover your backside for when it all goes tits up. You’ll be glad of the security in later life, and if you divorce young enough, you’ll still have time to make babies with someone else.

3. Find a mentor. You will always need someone to turn to, especially after your dad dies when you are 27. If they are influential and successful, all the better.

4. Don’t pile on the weight in your early thirties and then lose it again. You’ll be left with cellulite you will never get rid of. Exercise five times a week, don’t smoke and avoid as many carbs as possible (that one’s for Carb Face). Once your body starts to go, you can’t get it back. Enjoy what you have in your twenties and thirties. You have great legs, boobs and hair – none of these will look as good after 35. Stop criticising your looks every time you glance in the mirror – enjoy your elastic skin and bouncy bits. Have as much sex as you can.

5. Set clear boundaries. Don’t try to be everyone’s friend. Keep something back for you. I spent way too many hours listening to other people’s problems. You don’t get any thanks for it, and when they move on, they won’t remember or be there for you when the time comes. Sad but true. The same goes for family. You cannot fix them – only you – let them live their life while you live yours and don’t feel guilty if you don’t call as often.

6. If you really want kids like you say you do, make it a priority. Get serious around 28-years-old and put the career on a back-burner. Despite what everyone says, it’s actually not that easy to get pregnant after 40. Also, you will be exhausted. I can tell you, your energy levels dip massively, and being woken up every two hours by a demanding little poop machine, is no fun at all (so I’m told).

7. Follow your dreams. Up to a point. When they become nightmares, you know that you’ve taken things too far. By that I mean, if it’s that hard, it probably isn’t right.

8. Remember that despite what they say, you cannot, will not and should not have it all. It’s a big fat myth, and if you are going to come anywhere close to finding contentment in this life, you will be happy with one or the other (family or career). Enjoy the ride, count your blessings and take time to smell the coffee – but don’t drink as much, your teeth will stain and that’s a big no-no, especially if you move to LA (be warned, teeth whitening really hurts).

So Happy New Year younger me.

I love you even though you thought you were right all the time. Turns out, you didn’t know a thing but that’s because you didn’t have me to put on the right track.

Spinny out.


One Comment on “Dear younger me, what you should know…”

  1. a big fan - rah rah sis boom bah! says:

    Dear older me,

    I took your advice and married the old guy and had babies. I was great but now they’ve grown up and are off to pursue their dreams. My face goes blank when they ask me what were my dreams when they were young.

    Dear younger me, (ten years from now)

    Remember when you were questioning every choice you ever made, stop it! Yeah there were some bumps in the road, some financial irregularities but look at me now! It has all come together, everything I’ve ever dreamed of and it was because of the lessons I learned along the way.

    Believe in yourself, know that you made the best decision you could in the moment. And God knows what would have happened if you had decided out of fear. I need to ask that alternative self to join us for a drink some night. She’s just getting out of a coma.

    There is a reason why desert is served last.

    love me

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