The ‘button mushroom’ brigade

It’s a sad fact of life that some men are less well endowed than others.

It shouldn’t matter but it does. I mean, you can’t help but notice.

I had a friend years ago who recalled sleeping with a guy and telling him that he could ‘put it in now’, only for him to say, ‘It is in’.

That relationship didn’t last long.

I mention the ‘button mushroom’ brigade because even though it comes off as mean, men have no problems these days criticising a woman.

The only other vaginas I’ve seen are those super-stretched baldy triangles in porn movies, and they sure as hell don’t look normal to me. If that’s what men are expecting, surely nine times out of then they’re going to be disappointed?

Also, men have an inflated sense of self when it comes to their size. I had one guy tell me how big he was when in reality, his dick wasn’t big, he was. He was 6’4″ and his penis was definitely on the small size, even taking into account scale.

Didn’t stop him boasting about it though.

Weirdly, I’ve never said to a man, ‘You’re gonna love my rocking labia’ or ‘Look at my perfect flaps’.

But then maybe it’s because women are built with the emphasis on the internal (in every respect).

I’ve never been faced with a true ‘button mushroom’ and I hope I never am.

Especially these days. Taking into account how hard a spinster works to be sexy, relevant and unmissable, there could be nothing worse than scoring with a tiddler.

After the effort it now clearly takes to get a man interested, and then into bed, to be faced with a penis that would look better as part of a fairy dreamscape would be mortifying.

I wouldn’t be rude though. Me and my perfect flaps are just too nice.

Spinny out

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One Comment on “The ‘button mushroom’ brigade”

  1. I had a friend (she stopped talking to me and i don’t know why) who would make her potential fucks drop their pants so that she could decide whether to do it or not. She’s one of those people who have no internal filters or monologue (she had an interesting upbringing). It might not be a bad idea.

    They’ve conducted experiments where they pass around a 6″ dildo to men and women. Men say it’s big, women say it’s small.

    Size matters when it comes to intercourse. It really does.

    There’s a book at the Arclight store that’s called The Vagina Book. Have you seen it? It’s basically a coffee table book of vagina photos. I was shocked at the variety of vagina. Every vagina must be different, like a snow flake. I’m thinking of buying it. It’s definitely a conversation piece.


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