12 Spinster Tweets #withhashtagpairings

Let’s talk Spinster. Here are 12 examples of what you might expect to find in a Spinster twitter feed, complete #withhashtagpairings

Food updates (and their justification)

It’s ok to eat six cupcakes at once because no-one will see me naked tonight, right? #foodie

Suggest often that they are better off than couples in any situation

So hey, my car might have exploded on the freeway but at least I don’t have to go home to a cheating husband. #PHEW

Has a dig at the latest It Girl.

Shenae Grimes. WHO? #howdoyouevensayshenae?

And also at smug marrieds.

…AND they were wearing MATCHING sweaters #gross

Talk frankly about their changing pre-menopausal body.

If my nipples get any hairier they’ll be talking Wookie #starwars #nerd #boobs

Make fake(ish) suicide threats.

If I didn’t have my cat, I would kill myself. JOKING. Not. YES I AM. #kinda

Passive aggressively lament over losing friends to new relationships (but pretend to be happy)

Me & Meg love the Black Keys gig but 2nite she’s going 2 c them with her new bf & that’s cool cos I’m watching The Biggest Loser. On Tivo. #Luvumeg

Start sentences with ‘In my day…’

In my day…women used to dress like individuals #itstrue

State the obvious

I’m lonely #single

Write emo-style about things they think might shock you

If it wasn’t for masturbation I’d cut myself, so fuck you #itsmylife

Make hideous lifecoachy declarations laden with subtext

“It’s ok to be alone when the world is this pretty. Count your blessings! #sunsetatthebeach

Boast about their extreme exercise routine (gotta burn off that sexual energy somehow).

15 mile run before breakfast. DONE. Bring it #DeluthTriathlon! #woo #yeah

Spinny out!

Follow mine on Twitter @hollywoodspinny


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