Not so much profound, as passe

This article, ‘Why Marriage Is A Declining Option for Modern Women‘, about missing the marriage boat, originally appeared in The Atlantic, and appeared in an abridged form in the UK’s Observer newspaper today.

Written by Kate Bolick, it’s trumpeted as a ‘profound insight’, and has garnered an incredible amount of (mostly scathing) responses from their readership.

But anyone who hangs around here will recognise many of her themes.

Miss Bolick is textbook spinny.

A late thirty-something who ditched a decent bloke because she thought she could do better (didn’t want to compromise), put her career ahead of everything else and is now staring into the abyss of spinsterhood, panicked that she may never marry or have children.

What amazes me is how this kind of article can still be considered interesting enough to publish – not once but twice.

Surely we’ve moved on the from the realization that society has changed?

This is the reality for women everywhere.

So shouldn’t we be taking the debate further?

What happens 20, 40, 60 years down the line when marriage is obsolete and the traditional family unit has been kicked into touch?

It seems as if we are fast forwarding to a world populated by spinsters and men who never grow up.

I’ve said it here before, women will end up living together to survive. We will need the companionship and financial support of room-mates.

Interestingly, the article talks about a Dutch single-sex living collective, and having ‘a room of one’s own’.

Yes, yes, yes all very well but single people, while independent, also need a pack of both men and women to run with.

Women have to find an answer to this conundrum. Throw away that 1973 issue of Cosmo and make new rules.

Stats show that women may be earning more but the current recession will put back any real hopes for absolute equality, so although it can be argued that women are better off than ever, we still have a long way to go.

And while we angst over this 3rd wave of feminism – the 2nd wave died when Ginger Spice hung up her platform shoes – what we really need to do is inform Ms Bolick and her ilk that ‘play the cards that life deals you’ is the new ‘having it all’.

And to the even younger generation – the real third wavers – such as my god-daughter who is about to turn 19, we need to be very clear about what we teach them: if you want a family, start now. Work later.

Because your youth is the only currency you have when it comes to finding the father of your children.

Everything else can be fixed. But not that.

Spinny out.


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