Sofa sleepover? Forget it, you’re too old!

A friend invites you to stay the night but they only have a sofa for you to sleep on. You must think about it carefully because kids, things ain’t what they used to be.

This is how you know you’re too old to be sleeping on a friend’s sofa:

You don’t pass out through drink, you have to fall asleep normally. Almost impossible after 40.

And yet you constantly slide off the rich leather, something that never happened with the crappy tea-stained, three-legged futon your friends had in their twenties.

You’re woken up by a grinning two year-old-prodding you in the stomach with your mobile phone yelling, “Let’s call the elephants!”

Yet ironically you no longer have the dexterity to manouver your backside out of the gap between the cushions without having to ask the two-year-old to help you. “And on the count of three, PULL!”

You then realise with a very heavy heart that your perfect breasts are no longer sticking out of the top of your tank top as they would have done in the old days…but the sides.

Spinny out.

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