Can we sue the Eighties for false advertising?

AKA Labor Day Report Part II.

It’s my sad duty to report that during my short Spinny hiatus I discovered a few unpalatable truths.

Most notably that many of my single, female friends are unhappy.

Really unhappy.

It’s not that I thought I was the only one, but over the long weekend, and given a few precious hours to spare, tears were shed, stories shared and realities acknowledged.

There is a world of hurt going on out there right now.

Men are sparse – sorry, GOOD men are sparse – and money is non-existent.

There is no security. No safety nets.

I would really like to sue the Eighties for false advertising.

(Sidenote: If you know of a lawyer who’d like to take on a case that would make Erin Brokovich’s boobs tumble out of her tee in terror, do let me know.)

I was told I would have it all. Worse, I expected it all.

So were my friends but dear, dear universe, politicians, warmongers, oil barons, financiers, feminists, and anyone else who had a hand in this mess, what are you going to do about it?

I’m fed up with the people I love (including myself) being let down by the disintegration of our lives and dreams.

And yet I am powerless.

Sure, I can weave a few concise sentences but like you, I’m one of the disenfranchised: a woman who has been let down by the opposite sex, the economy and global malaise.

It’s too much for little ole me to fix.

My inner spirit, and the world we live in need a reboot of Herculean proportions.

I like to think of myself as a fixer, and not a whinger. But I suppose that all we can do is support each other by being on the end of a phone/IM, giving up a night to share woes over wine, and offering a hug when the thought of being alone is too much to bear.

If this downward trend continues, our hurt will only escalate. I can see us having to build communes, pool our pennies and bed in for what might surely turn out to be the unprecedented story of a generation of females who have, for the first time in history, nothing to look forward to.

Unless of course, we re-wire our brains, lower our expectations of our careers, and seek nothing from our intimate relationships.

See you at the bottom of the barrel.

Pack your life-preserver.

There’s going to be a lot of tears.

Spinny out.


PS: I promise to blog about something happier later this week but I really had to get this off my chest. I can’t bear to see my friends in so much pain. I share it with you because I value your opinions. Also, I know that some of your replies will tell me how blessed we are, how joyous life is, and how it’s what we make it. Yes, to some of that but can we get off the self-help soundbite conveyor belt and be honest. Life is good. But could – and should – be much much better. Or to put it another way, life shouldn’t be this hard – and we shouldn’t be punished for being single. I don’t care what you say, it is harder. It just is.





6 Comments on “Can we sue the Eighties for false advertising?”

  1. My beautiful, successful younger sister unloaded a whopper on me the other day. She’s not in love with her husband and she’s not sure she wants to work on the relationship. Right now, she’s sitting on her hands just out of plain laziness AND selfishness, waiting for something to happen. I think she’s just waiting for him to leave her (he’s the one that had the courage to tell her they were roommates, not a marriage). She says she pictures herself alone and not with him. But, this is her second marriage and she has a teenage son. So she’s had it all. I think if she knew how hard it is to face a life alone beyond 40, she’d reconsider working on her marriage. But she doesn’t know yet. She’s going to turn forty next month.

    We all have our issues with fear of the future.

    I guess I’m not as scared and unhappy as the women you mention in this post. I do have moments of panic, but if I keep doing what I love, I know I’ll be okay. I know it’s going to take a lot of work, but I will be okay. I have it pretty good. I just have to be careful not to get paralyzed by fear. That’s the real danger.

    Life is an adventure in insecurity. Navigate well.

  2. Thank you for your comment. Brilliant as ever.

    I write about the extremes of my emotion (the darker side) because I suppose it’s my way of making the world sit up and take notice. It was a weird weekend. I saw four girlfriends and they all shared their struggles. I sort of ran out of things to say – fortunately I do a great line in hugs 🙂

    I don’t want anyone to think I’m this neurotic manic depressive because I’m not. My friends find me amusing, empathetic and caring – heck, why am I even defending myself to you? You didn’t ask that of me. I suppose I feel defensive of my post because I hate to wallow in the negatives but so many pieces of the jigsaw are missing right now, I think I’m slightly overwhelmed. Like you, I’m trying to navigate the choppy waters of life but my glasses have fallen off my nose and onto the floor. I’m floundering around on my knees trying to find them.

    But to your sister; she’s got a very stark wake- up call coming her way. But how do you tell her that? As I’ve blogged here, I fell out recently with a married friend because this huge divide in our outlooks.

    What I love though is YOUR attitude. “Life is an adventure in insecurity. Navigate well.”

    I’m putting that on a t-shirt.

  3. Beautifully written, as always.

    I suffer from a constant emotional dichotomy. On the one hand, I’m full of hope for my romantic future and that one day my prince, albeit probably a flawed, imperfect prince, will come and I’ll live happily ever after.

    But on the other hand…

    I’m also plagued with reality. The reality is, good people end up alone. The most effervescent, vivacious, amazing people end up alone. Because there is no rule that states we will all end up with our perfect match. Some people are just lucky. And some are just lying about how happy they are. And others don’t seem to appreciate what they have. (Those are the worst.)

    I kinda wish I could just be content with what I have, but then if we were all like that, the human race wouldn’t have evolved.

    And I would have nothing to write about. 🙂

  4. Rouge Vino says:

    If you’re receiving hugs you’re not alone – I would take comfort in that sister. Lovers leave friends remain – we’re not so badly off after all.

  5. Leslie says:

    So the Law of Attraction is all bullshit?????

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