I upset my married friend.Posted: August 1, 2011
I upset one of my oldest friends by implying that because she was married, financially, she had it easier than me.
In retrospect, I understand why she was annoyed, and I’ve since apologised. I probably sounded judgmental – something I try to avoid at all costs – but I’m stressed about money and from the outside looking in, the holy grail is having a partner to look to for support.
As soon as I sent the email, I regretted it.
However, I firmly believe that couples generally have it easier than singles.
It’s a lousy time to be paying for everything by yourself. This month I have a shortfall of cash. If I had a partner to fill in the gaps, it wouldn’t be problem. As it is, I’m wondering how the next four weeks are going to play out.
That was the point I was making.
Her marriage isn’t in great shape, and her reply included this: ‘I note how you feel on your own. But many of us are also on their own for whatever reason, and we deal with it even when it’s our own ‘fault’ for having difficult partners, or are on our own for for more ‘worthy’ reasons. Having a dependent means I cannot just think of my own wishes but I also have to think of [my child’s] wants.’
If anyone knows where the grass is greener, do let me know.
Married, single, divorcee, spinster – the world is a hard place to live right now.
I’m old enough to know better than to compare myself against others – especially the people I care about.
I just wish things were easier for us all.