My Ex-Boyfriend: Through Plaid-Coloured GlassesPosted: June 10, 2011
We chatted amiably enough but the entire time my inner dialogue was on over-drive.
Mostly it was saying this:
“WHAT. THE. FUCK. WERE. YOU. THINKING?”
Harsh, I know. Because with that thought you own up to bad judgement. And there’s me thinking I was an intelligent woman.
I realise now that I was with him on the rebound. He was the total opposite of my ex ex boyfriend, and what I needed for a few weeks two and half years ago.
But I spent far too long with him.
The rebound became a two-year relationship. BIG MISTAKE.
He’s a nice guy but not motivated enough for me.
Kind and intelligent, yes, but immature and unambitious.
What I thought was enough wasn’t even a quarter enough.
It’s shame that we can’t stop the clock while we fuck up our lives, or take long ambling walks down wrong paths. Wasted time. Wasted years.
I felt very detached from him. After a few minutes, I wanted him to leave. Not in a bad way. I just feel like I’ve moved on mentally from that place. And friendly though it was, I didn’t even want to hug him goodbye.
But that might have something to do with the fact that he wearing a plaid shirt.
Where I come from, we call that a ‘check shirt’, and in any language it’s a fashion faux pas. I’m no fan of the lumberjack look.
Funnily enough, I’ve never seen him wear one before (a new girlfriend maybe?).
After he left, I went back to work safe in the knowledge that I was much better off without him.
Interesting that I had to look back on our time together through plaid-coloured glasse, to realise that.
But happily, today, I finally saw the wood for the trees.