My Ex-Boyfriend: Through Plaid-Coloured Glasses

My ex boyfriend popped in to see me for a few minutes this afternoon.

We chatted amiably enough but the entire time my inner dialogue was on over-drive.

Mostly it was saying this:

“WHAT. THE. FUCK. WERE. YOU. THINKING?”

Harsh, I know. Because with that thought you own up to bad judgement. And there’s me thinking I was an intelligent woman.

I realise now that I was with him on the rebound. He was the total opposite of my ex ex boyfriend, and what I needed for a few weeks two and half years ago.

But I spent far too long with him.

The rebound became a two-year relationship. BIG MISTAKE.

He’s a nice guy but not motivated enough for me.

Kind and intelligent, yes, but immature and unambitious.

What I thought was enough wasn’t even a quarter enough.

It’s shame that we can’t stop the clock while we fuck up our lives, or take long ambling walks down wrong paths. Wasted time. Wasted years.

I felt very detached from him. After a few minutes, I wanted him to leave. Not in a bad way. I just feel like I’ve moved on mentally from that place. And friendly though it was, I didn’t even want to hug him goodbye.

But that might have something to do with the fact that he wearing a plaid shirt.

Where I come from, we call that a ‘check shirt’, and in any language it’s a fashion faux pas. I’m no fan of the lumberjack look.

Funnily enough, I’ve never seen him wear one before (a new girlfriend maybe?).

After he left, I went back to work safe in the knowledge that I was much better off without him.

Interesting that I had to look back on our time together through plaid-coloured glasse, to realise that.

But happily, today, I finally saw the wood for the trees.

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