Entitlement and Joy: The Newest Double Act In TownPosted: March 16, 2011
ENTITLEMENT is the first one.
When you’re 20 or even 30, you’re still a rubber ball. You think the world owes you a living and you bounce back from failures, disappointments and hardship in the blink of an eye.
Cut to a few years later and things haven’t gone so well. You’re over 40 and your dreams are falling like tattered confetti around your head.
At the end of last year, after my third major relationship break-up in ten years, and having failed to make the headway I’d hoped in my career, my confidence was at an all time low. I felt like bad luck, was my only luck.
So I spoke to a therapist who told me to write down a list of my achievements.
Turns out, it was a pretty long list, and its content surprised me. I’ve done a lot of amazing things. I come from a small town, and I’ve made a living out of writing. A few years ago, I moved from London to LA, and in the last week alone, interviewed six major stars, for three covers of national publications. I’m good at what I do.
The therapist also told me to keep the word ‘entitlement’ in the front of my mind AT ALL TIMES.
I think he did that to try to change the record I was playing. The negative, depressing, losery soundtrack to my life. It’s hard. I feel beaten up but now I realise how good I am at what I do, I think I’m started to feel more ENTITLED to success.
The second word is JOY.
I realised this week that I wasn’t looking forward to ANYTHING. I felt miserable and lonely after a tough week, and all I could see was more misery. In my head, I looked exactly like my Twitter avatar.
So today I sat down and factored some ‘joy’ into my life. I’ve made plans to do some fun stuff, and have promised to be less hard on myself. I also promised to give myself quality time off every week, and enjoy the simple things in life; friends, the ocean, my favourite foods. All that good stuff.
If all this sounds horribly naive, I apologise. The thing is this: re-adjusting your perspective can be tough. But at certain points in life, you have to do it. Your expectations cannot stay the same, if your body is changing. It would be like wearing old spectacles as your eye-sight deteriorates. You have to get a new prescription every now and then.
So I’m prepared to try whatever tricks I can to keep my hopes high and my life something that I can cherish – even without all the things I assumed I’d have by now.
So I’m keeping my new favourite detectives Entitlement and Joy, close at hand. They can help me solve the mysteries of life.
The first being, where’s the chocolate and wine?