Jenny Aniston – Queen of SpinstersPosted: February 12, 2011
Barely a day goes by without hearing some old blah about Jenny Aniston – the Hollywood spinster I’d choose to be if I had money, an amazing head of hair and a string of mediocre comedies under my belt.
I’m not being derogatory with that last remark. I aspire to Jenny’s level of failure. It’s failure at the top and in actual fact, regardless of how much the media bleat on about her generic film roles, she’s actually bloody successful. Did you see her California pad in the Architectural Digest? If that’s failure. I WANT that failure.
And yeah, she’s without a man. But who the hell isn’t these days? Most of the women I know WITH a man feel lonely. They hate their lives, and tell me that they’ve compromised their pants off. Jenny hasn’t. Any woman who can say goodbye to Brad Pitt (not aging well), is a woman who is confident in her skin. She didn’t rush out and replace him with some Chord Overstreet (I just like that name) pretty boy. Nope, she took the high road. Kept quiet and every six months or so took her clothes off for the cover of a magazine. In an arty way of course.
So I don’t subscribe to the ‘Poor Jen’ school of thought. Screw that. Jenny Aniston is the Queen of Spinsters. She fucking rocks and her life is amazing. Here’s why:
1. She’s really rich. Around $110m rich actually – and counting.
2. She told fat people to stop eating so much. Harsh, but Jenny speaks the truth.
3. After years of silence, she finally admitted that she hated the ‘Rachel’, proving she’s a bit of a snark. Love.
4. She made an artsy movie, ‘The Good Girl’, realised that low-budget indies weren’t going to buy a new yacht/shoes/Caribbean island/whatever, and made a conscious decision to crank out the rom-coms. Hello mimosas!
5. She still trots around town in her jeans, flip-flops and tank top.
No posturing like Posh, no kids puking on her shoes and no needy men.
Happy Birthday Jen. You are Hollywood spinster gold.