Cher & The Jackson Five. Just because Part II.

Tina & Cher. Just because.

The Immaculate Spinsteration.

If you’re this good and this passionate about your craft, I don’t care how old you are or what gender you are, you should never stop. She’s an inspiration. End of. No argument.


Madonna LOOKING AWESOME on the opening night of her Rebel Heart tour in Montreal.

Spinny out.

Photo credit: Getty Images for Live Nation

You know you are a true Hollywood Spinster when…

…an ex boyfriend emails and you immediately look on IMDb to see if he’s been working.

The eggs are connected to the Hammbone.

Jennifer Westfeldt and her boyfriend, the actor Jon Hamm, have separated after 18 years.

The Hammbone.

The Hammbone.

She’s now 45 so her baby-making years are over.

I bring that up because I read an interview where she said she wanted children but Jon didn’t.

She stayed with him anyway and now…Ooops.

Sure, she might be happy enough. An 18 year relationship is a success story, right?

But not if you’ve compromised on a major story arc.


Then it’s 18 years you can’t get back.

Also, she’s 45 so she’s now a bona fide spinster. Welcome to the club Jen. This bit is for you…

Read my open letter to Spin-sister Charlize (she’s been in and out since I wrote this but it still stands).

I just hope that the 18 years were worth it. That despite his enormous dick he wasn’t an enormous dick to you.

And that you can look back fondly on those almost two decades with some kind of contentment and peace.

If not, good luck making better choices. It’s my new mantra to all women, everywhere.


This is true not just of men but of bagels, holiday destinations and hairdressers.

Ironically, all of the above will help you through this rough patch.

You’re welcome.

Spinny out.

Jessica Rabbit is now Middle Aged

modern-world-caricature-illustrations-steve-cutts-17This delightfully bleak illustration of modern life, marriage and middle age is from London-based illustrator and animator Steve Cutts. Take a look at many more wonderful images on his website.

Happy Monday everybody!

Spinny out.

Marry, Hate & Ashley

marriedsingle32 million email addresses were revealed during the Ashley Madison information dump.

That’s a lot of cheaters.

As a single woman, I’m not here to gloat. (Although wouldn’t that be the easiest thing in the world right now?).

No, what this sorry episode says to me is this: “What are our relationship expectations these days?”

I know that my issues are with trust. Because of my past experiences, I don’t know how I will ever believe anything a man says to me. Least of all, “I love you”.

Clearly, even the ones you think you can trust, you can’t.

Your marriage/relationship may be the happiest, bestest, most wonderfulest thing since bread was not just sliced but transformed into a grilled cheese sandwich, and yet still, your partner might be cheating on you.

Should we hate them for that? Hate ourselves?

Or maybe it’s time to throw in the towel and say, “Relationships are not monogomous. They never have been and they never will be.”

The traditional model of marriage and exclusivity is not the one that most people seem to adhere to these days. We need to unlearn that these are the traits that make a relationship work.

Should the new fairytale go something like this: “Yeah, sure kid, you’ll meet the man of your dreams. Or at least you think he is but he will fall far short of your expectations, most likely cheat on you and lie to your face but still, he might be a good man. If he sticks around to pay the bills, share some responsibility and bring up the kids, then you’ve got a good one. You will live happyish ever after and you know what, you’ll be luckier than most.”

I’ve said it before, we deserve the best but we expect too much. Or at least, I know I did.

And the times when I consistently compromised were the times I was left lonely, confused and frustrated.

But maybe that’s because the narrative that is beaten into us about romance, love and marriage has become redundant. Feminism started it and the internet has finished it off entirely. Leave the romance to novels.

So yes, marry your partner and buy into the dream but don’t hate him or her when they start drinking Ashley’s Kool Aid.

Their fairytale has another ending – and so does yours. That doesn’t make it worse, that just makes it different.

And 32 million other people have already figured that out.

Spinny out.


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