What’s the worst thing about moving house, I hear you ask?

hobbit feetNot being able to find any wax strips to get rid of my big toe hair.

You did ask.

Spinny out.


What’s your spin?

Today’s question: Are you friends with any of your ex’s?

I just don’t see how it works. (Or maybe I picked guys who were such losers there’d be no point in having them as friends?).

As far as I can tell, it benefits no-one.

You can’t move on and they continue to irritate you.

Every time I looked at my most recent ex, or had any communication with him via text or email, all I felt was anger, sadness and resentment, at the way he let me down.

So I cut him off.

But what about you?

Spinny out


The Great Matchby!

Great-Gatsby-movie-Nick-Carraways-cottage-18Baz Luhrmann has just revealed that he and his wife of 17 years, Catherine Martin, sleep separately all week, spending a night together in a hotel at the weekends.

Hmmm, I also sleep alone and have the occassional hotel tryst.

Maybe I HAVE been married all these years after all? 

Spinny out.


Lauren Bacall: One Classy Broad.

lauren bacall

I was blown away by this photograph of Lauren Bacall, taken when she was 88, one year before her death last week.

It’s the most honest portrait of ageing I’ve ever seen from a Hollywood star, and also a little uncomfortable.

Lauren Bacall was one of the most beautiful women of her generation,and yet here she is, facing her advancing years head on.

She’s steadfast, brave, and unflinching.

Much like the Hobbits in the Lord of the Ring: Return of the King, when the Orcs march on Minas Tirith (yes, I’m comparing age to an Orc but bear with me on this), age advances relentlessly.

Nothing you can do – not even Botox – will stop your face from falling apart over time, because (unlike the Orcs), age always wins.

But I think Lauren Bacall is the winner this time around.

Look at that face. Really look. There’s fire in those eyes and a life writ large.

Yes, her old lady face terrifies me but I also love it. I want that face, and I want that confidence.

She’s a woman who knows her power, and yet there’s a resignation too. A tiny recognition of where her amazing life journey has lead her. It’s a fighting stare but one that emanates inner peace.

So RIP Ma’am, and the next time I need to find the strength within to not despise my face for casually shedding its youthful glow, I’ll whistle. I may not be able to come to terms with getting older but I sure know how to whistle.

Spinny out


The Queen of Wrong Decisions

keep-calm-im-moving-house

Moved house again today.

Seems to me, if you don’t ‘settle down’ (ie, get married, have kids) you never actually ‘settle’. Therefore, it’s left me feeling very unsettled.

Excitement comes with adventure and really, that comes with youth.

People keep asking me, “Are you excited to move?”.

No, I’m not. It’s just another move. Really what they should be asking is, “Are you sure this is the right move?”

To which my answer would be, “How the hell do I know?”

My track record shows that I am The Queen of Wrong Decisions. This might just be another one.

*little voice deep inside*

“Or it could be the exactly the Right One.”

Only time will tell.

Now where the hell did I pack the bottle opener (and other cliches).

Spinny out.


RIP Robin Williams. A genie, a genius and a gentleman.

robin williams

There are so many wonderful moments to choose from, such is his enormous legacy, but this one made me smile.


You know you’re a true Hollywood Spinster when…

…you find yourself staring wistfully at a poster for Tourism California on the London Underground, and wishing that the teleportation machine in Star Trek was real.


Middle-Aged Mutant Ninja Wrinkles.

“Fight the signs of ageing” says the ad for Nivea.turtle

Why?

Why do we have to fight?

Don’t you think that as we get older, we should fight less and embrace what we know we can’t change, more? Your teens and Twenties are all about fighting. Fighting for independence, fighting for love, for money, for respect.

Surely by the time we hit our Forties and Fifties, we’ve earned the right to calm down and enjoy the world around us?

I don’t want to spend the remainder of my life trying to eradicate the signs that I’ve lived a life.

(Or in the case of Megan Fox, eradicating a life before it’s lived).

Which begs the question, why is so much money spent fighting to erase a woman’s struggle?

So that we can be plastic little dolls who exist only as projections of perfection. And who’s that for? Not for women, that’s for sure.

When you go to extremes to fight the signs of ageing, actually you’re giving in.

You’re surrendering your gender, your happiness and your self-respect.

You’re a hero in a half-empty shell.

Good luck with that.

Spinny out.

 

 

 

 


Never mind the botox, read the small print

Kidman-jpgLinda Kelsey, who used to edit UK Cosmopolitan, is now 62, and says that her friends give her hell because she refuses to have Botox.

Really?

Your friends are giving you hell?

When the people in your life who are supposed to support you are giving you a hard time over not injecting your head with botulism, you need to find new friends.

And who are they trying to impress anyway? Their unfit, pot-bellied, balding 62-year-old men?

If only you could inject people with common sense.

Our triumphs are hard won, and our tragedies are suffered.

Both should be worn on our faces with pride.

After a certain age, our faces scream: “I’M STILL HERE.” And that’s a good thing.

You want to know me? Never mind the Botox, read the small print.

Spinny out.

 

 

 

 

 


To Bey, or Not To Bey?

I just love this dramatic version of Beyonce’s Single Ladies, from actress Nina Millin.

It’s from her series of shorts called “Beyoncelogues”, which includes Mine, Irreplaceable and If I Were A Boy, where she dramatizes the lyrics to Beyonce’s songs straight to camera. It’s weirdly compelling. Take a look at Irreplaceable next.

Spinny out.

 

 

 


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