Dear friend, you’re wrong…I do deserve lovePosted: February 26, 2012
I told a friend yesterday that I was missing an emotional connection in my life.
And I really am.
There’s a big big gap right there where a hug should be.
Not getting married or having kids may boil down to a life choice but living without love or affection is just ridiculous.
She told me (and I’m paraphrasing) that I didn’t deserve love because the rest of my life was a mess.
That I had to sort out everything else before I could even hope to meeting anybody.
She said, and I paraphrase again, ‘I wouldn’t want to date in your situation’.
But it’s funny because when I had the so-called perfect set-up; the apartment, the job, the new car, the clothes, I didn’t find love either.
I only managed to find men who were more than happy to attach themselves to me in order for them to enjoy the fruits of my labours.
So I think what really upset me about that conversation was the notion that I wasn’t worthy because I’d fucked up so badly.
I no longer have that big living space or job security… yet somehow that was what defined my goodness and my ability to be loved?
Isn’t that ridiculous. If we were to wait until everything was perfect, we’d all float through life forever loveless.
Who out there has actually managed to get everything right?
Some of the biggest fuck ups I know have found love. And it’s changed their lives forever.
So I’ll say it again…I’m not denying myself the possibility of anything this year.
I’m fighting less and I’m open to more.
So to paraphrase what I told her her. ‘You’re wrong.’
Because she is.